Shipping Wars
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The Shipping Wars are an ongoing conflict between Defragon Peroxus Caesium, Indenar Noldo IV, and various other parties, including AutoCorrect Motorola Caesium, tEMMIE CRu!!!!1!1!!, and Universal Paperclips, as they mindlessly and pointlessly create outrageous ships to make the other increasingly uncomfortable as a result of their having contracted shipping disorder disease. Ships that have been involved in this conflict include Almindenar, Alphyne, Autoldo, Autonoldile, Beaste, Caesero, Captalina, Chasriel, Curtainella, Defrapyrus, DefChicken, Defrathers, Deframmer, Defrunder, Elizius, Gooisium, Indenaton, Nasathers, Oceaips, Prinow, Rijundenar, Skullmighty, and Spaecium.
List of ships (timeline included)
- December 4, 2019 CE: The Shipping Wars begin as Defragon Peroxus Caesium contracts shipping disorder disease, possibly as a result of the designs of Universal Paperclips, hacked into by King Boo I, and ships Indenar Noldo IV with Ermen AUTOMOBILE. The disease soon spreads to AutoCorrect Motorola Caesium.
- Ships introduced: Autonoldile.
- December 6, 2019 CE: Universal Paperclips is infected with the disease.
- December 9, 2019 CE: Indenar Noldo IV is infected with the disease and considers spreading a rumor that ships Caesium with Gooigi.
- Ships introduced: Gooisium.
- December 12, 2019 CE: Caesium begins shipping Noldo with Makeela Riju, coincidentally his Χ Alternate Mafelio's wife.
- Ships introduced: Rijundenar.
- December 14, 2019 CE: Caesium begins writing a Rijundenar fanfiction. Indil Noldo begins shipping Rijundenar.
- December 22, 2019 CE: Noldo begins shipping Caesium with Thunderblight Ganon and with Hammer Bros.
- December 23, 2019 CE: Lord Martarious negotiates the Treaty of Lunch at Broad Oak Reservoir, which prevents Caesium and Noldo from directly and personally continuing the conflict for at least five turns.
- February 13, 2020 CE: Caesium and Cucco Tolberaht enter a five-second romantic relationship.
- Ships introduced: DefChicken.
- February 14, 2020 CE: Valentine's Day. Caesium has a bad time because of the evil peer pressure. Meanwhile, AutoCorrect begins shipping itself with Noldo and attempts to seduce him. It's not very effective...
- Ships introduced: Autoldo.
- March 5, 2020 CE: Caesium marries and merges with NASA.
- Ships introduced: Spaecium.
- March 11, 2020 CE: The Great Papyrus admits that he doesn't like Caesium the way he likes him, and ends their brief romantic relationship.
- Ships introduced: Defrapyrus.
- April 1, 2020 CE: AutoCorrect flirts with Noldo.
- April 2, 2020 CE: AutoCorrect flirts with Noldo.
- April 10, 2020 CE: AutoCorrect makes the slanderous claim that "HAPPY MII ACCOSTED HIS SISTER WITH 1-TEC-20". Meanwhile, Times New Roman advertises a slanderous website appearing to support Autonoldile.
- Ships introduced: Let's not talk about that.
- April 20, 2020 CE: Caesium breaks the Treaty of Lunch, shipping Noldo with the Almighty One.
- Ships introduced: Almindenar.
- April 26, 2020 CE: AutoCorrect has at this point joined the Villain Chat Bois and its desire for Noldo has grown too twisted and disturbing to speak of.
- April 29, 2020 CE: Noldo confronts Caesium for breaking the Treaty of Lunch.
- April 30, 2020 CE: Caesium denies ever breaking the Treaty of Lunch or shipping Almindenar.
- May 7, 2020 CE: Caesium wipes AutoCorrect's memory.
- May 10, 2020 CE: Caesium expresses romantic interest in Blathers.
- Ships introduced: Defrathers.
- May 14, 2020 CE: Caesium denies cheating on NASA with Blathers, as he has merged with NASA and they have become one. He promptly feeds AutoCorrect an "H"; it responds by immediately asking Noldo if it can "POSSIBLY CH-OK YOU UP". Scandalous. Caesium takes the opportunity to equate Noldo's nonexistent crush on the Almighty One (Almindenar) to AutoCorrect's creep-stalkerish crush on Noldo (Autoldo). More scandalous. His dignity, and more importantly his pride, injured, Noldo schemes to cause a political scandal about Caesium with NOTGLaDOS's help to publicly humiliate him and ruin everything he loves. Caesium feels immense guilt. This is truly a scandalous day.
- May 15, 2020 CE: Caesium formalizes his celebrity crush on Blathers.
- May 31, 2020 CE: Caesium alludes to shipping Noldo with the YouTuber Desbug.
- Ships introduced: Let's not.
- June 3, 2020 CE: NASA expresses romantic interest in Blathers and denies cheating on Caesium with Blathers, and it has merged with Caesium and they have become one. The irony is palpable.
- Ships introduced: Nasathers.
- June 9, 2020 CE: Caesium recounts the old days when he shipped Autonoldile. Flowey the Flower is present and takes the opportunity to respond with a simple, "You IDIOT." Papyrus reminds Caesium that he doesn't like him the way he likes him. Even with its old memory gone, AutoCorrect tells Noldo, "Hi I am interested in the position and would like to know if you have any questions please feel free to contact us for dinner tonight and I will admit that I am kinda makes sense".
- June 14, 2020 CE: Caesium accuses Noldo of being romantically interested in both the Almighty One and Mettaton and calls this "unhealthy". Noldo denies being in LOVE with them and then denies being in love with them. Caesium then notes that Skull Kid and the Almighty One "might be a thing".
- Ships introduced: Indenaton, Skullmighty.
- June 15, 2020 CE: Caesium briefly and supposedly jokingly ships Noldo with Undyne but immediately renounces this idea in favor of shipping Undyne with Alphys instead.
- Ships introduced: Indyne (briefly, supposedly jokingly), Alphyne.
- June 29, 2020 CE | June 29, 2120 ∇CE: Caesium considers shipping Asriel Dreemurr-Motorola Caesium with Chara Dreemurr. He then contacts Alphys and requests that she write fanfiction about this ship, resulting in complete pandemonium and the rage of the entire tEMMIE CRu!!!!1!1!!, who considers suing Caesium for this dastardly deed.
- Ships introduced: Chasriel.
- July 5, 2020 CE: John Kirby Court holds Toriel x Asgore Dreemurr v. Defragon Peroxus Caesium; the case is paused as NotJohnKirbo is provoked by and attacks Noldo.
- July 10, 2020 CE: Noldo concedes that Chasriel is not a terrible ship in certain circumstances. Similarly, he believes that shipping Dreemurr Motorola-Caesium with Frisk is also an acceptable ship in certain circumstances. Nevertheless, shipping Papyrus with his brother Sans and Dreemurr Motorola-Caesium with his alternate form Flowey the Flower or his father Asgore Dreemurr are both unacceptable ships. Caesium writes the Shipper Code.
- June 30, 2020 CE: Noldo entertains the prospect of writing poor shipping fanfiction libel about Caesium should the Shipping Wars escalate.
- August 21, 2020 CE: Noldo hosts the pilot episode of Ship Review on MTT Channel; ships reviewed include Elizabeth I x Pope Pius V, The Fallen Arbiter x Williamsburg clickbaiters, Alphyne, Caesium x Percy, Lord Jezero, Alabma x incest, Noldo x good ships, Alphys x Internet Ramens, Undyne x Internet Ramens, Captain Toad x Rosalina, and Ocean x ships. These ships appear to have been submitted by Caesium, but it's unclear. Noldo approves of Alphyne and Caesero, is indifferent toward Captalina and Oceaips, disapproves of Elizius, and finds the others too terrible to even be listed here.
- August 25, 2020 CE: Noldo alludes to Ship Reviewing a ship between Adam of Chambord and Forte the Nightmare Organ.
- Ships introduced: Beaste.
- August 26, 2020 CE: Noldo alludes to Ship Reviewing a ship between Snow White and Prince The Prince.
- Ships introduced: Prinow.
- August 30, 2020 CE: Noldo alludes to Ship Reviewing a ship between Cinderella and curtains.
- Ships introduced: Curtainella.
- September 3, 2020 CE: Noldo considers creating a formula to formulate whether a piece of media has a reasonable number of ships.
Possible alliances
Adam of Chambord is royalty in Adamic Chambord. Blathers is a museum curator across the Nook Isles and friend of Tom Nook. Defragon Peroxus Caesium, Gooigi, and AutoCorrect Motorola Caesium are ranked among the AutoCorrectors, already an enemy of Ilvandorian Legacy, led by Indenar Noldo IV. Hammer Bros. are part of the Koopa Empire. Cinderella is royalty in the Charming Faraway Kingdom. Indil Noldo leads the Yiga Clan. Prince The Prince and Snow White are royalty in the Florian Disney Kingdom.
Elizabeth I is queen of England. As stated above, Indenar Noldo IV leads Ilvandorian Legacy. Pope Pius V leads the Catholic Church and Papal States. Makeela Riju leads the Gerudo.